Self regulation, Self Control

Self-Regulation [self-control]: Regulating what one feels and does; being disciplined; controlling one’s appetites and emotions. Personified for example by Jerry Rice (Source: VIA Institue)
 

The Noel Strengths Academy defines it this way:

  • When one is self-regulated, one is practicing self-control 
  • Self-regulation involves both feelings and actions 
  • Intentional in aligning choices with practices 
  • Able to discipline one’s natural inclinations for what is proper for the time and place 

Yes, strengths can be overused…or underused

  • Underuse: Self-indulgence
  • Overuse: Inhibition

Key Research:

  • Rank order of Self-Control in populations from:
    • US : 7;
    • European:  22
    • Asia: 24
    • Latin America: 23
    • Sub-Saharan Africa: 24
    • Middle east: 24
  • Predictors of college satisfaction were hope, social intelligence, self-regulation, and fairness (Lounsbury et al., 2009).
  • Character strengths of the mind (e.g., self-regulation, perseverance, love of learning) were predictive of school success (Weber & Ruch, 2012b).
  • The least prevalent character strengths in human beings are prudence, modesty, and self-regulation (Park, Peterson, & Seligman, 2006).
  • Popular students, as identified by teacher ratings, are more likely to score highly on civic strengths such as leadership and fairness, and temperance strengths of self-regulation, prudence, and forgiveness. Interestingly, none of the humanity strengths such as love and kindness were related to popularity (Park & Peterson, 2009b).
  • Strengths that predicted GPA in college students were perseverance, self-regulation, prudence, judgment and love of learning (Lounsbury et al., 2009).

Tayyab Rashid and Afroze Anjum offer 340 Ways to Use VIA Character Strengths including these four for Self-Control:

  1. Set goals to improve your everyday living and make sure you complete the tasks. Ideas can include cleaning your room, doing your laundry, doing your dishes, cleaning your desk, and rearranging your furniture to maximize floor space.
  2. Carefully create routines that you can follow thorough systematically. Make minor adjustments as needed but keep the core elements intact.
  3. Identify your role models and examine them in detail. Let these details inspire and regulate your goals.
  4. Do partial or complete fasting or deliberately resist a comfort (e.g., chocolate, ice-cream, sex, TV) for a while. Reward yourself with it after accomplishing a challenging task.

  • Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength by Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney
  • The Willpower instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It by Kelly McGonigal. This book explores the science behind self-control and provides strategies for developing better self-regulation skills, particularly in areas like emotional regulation, habit formation, and goal achievement.
  • “The Mastery of Self” by Don Miguel Ruiz Jr. Rooted in the Toltec wisdom tradition, this book offers guidance on cultivating self-awareness, self-discipline, and self-mastery, which are essential components of self-regulation.
  • “The Emotional Discipline Handbook” by Jennifer Grogan This practical guide focuses specifically on developing emotional self-regulation skills, providing strategies for managing emotions, impulses, and stress in a healthy and productive manner.
  • “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg While not solely focused on self-regulation, this bestselling book explores the science of habit formation and provides insights into how to break bad habits and develop positive, self-regulated behaviors.
  • “Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage with Life” by Stuart Shanker This book offers a comprehensive approach to self-regulation, particularly in the context of parenting and helping children develop self-regulation skills from an early age.
  • “What is Self-Regulation? (+95 Skills and Strategies)” by Positive Psychology: This article provides a comprehensive overview of self-regulation theory, including its components, strategies, and examples of successful self-regulatory behavior. It discusses the importance of self-regulation in achieving goals and overcoming challenges

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Learn more about Self-Control

Every day, we make decisions that have good or bad consequences for our future selves. (Can I skip flossing just this one time?) Daniel Goldstein makes tools that help us imagine ourselves over time, so that we make smart choices for Future Us.

Jonathan Bricker’s work has uncoved a scientifically sound approach to behavior change that is twice as effective as most currently practiced methods. His new methods are driving new norms and new apps for how people quit smoking and decrease obesity, saving many people from an early death.

Mel Robbins is a married working mother of three, an ivy-educated criminal lawyer, and one of the top career and relationship experts in America. Widely respected for her grab-’em-by-the-collar advice and tough love, Robbins drills through the mental clutter that stands between people and what they want. Her approach is smart, effective and entertaining. Five days a week, Mel hosts her own syndicated radio show The Mel Robbins Show, discussing hot topics and giving advice to callers across America. She is starring in a new series, In-Laws, airing this summer on A&E. In addition, she writes a monthly column for Success Magazine, is a former CNBC contributor and is the co-founder of Advice for Living, Inc., which develops products and television programming with experts in the wellness, health, relationship and career categories.

Behavioral economist Dan Ariely talks about self control and the difference between our long term goals and our short term actions. Dan Ariely is an renowned professor of psychology and behavioral economics. He teaches at Duke University and is the founder of The Center for Advanced Hindsight and also the co-founder of BEworks.

Neuroscientists talk about how we have one brain but two minds. We have a mind that acts on impulse and seeks immediate gratification, and we have another mind that controls our impulses and delays gratification to fulfill our long-term goals. We face willpower challenges when the two minds have competing goals. Learn what influences us to procrastinate or why we fail to resist temptation, and learn about small interventions that can have large, positive outcomes. Author and Stanford health psychologist Kelly McGonigal, PhD, talks about strategies from her new book “The WillPower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It” as part of the Authors@Google series. Topics include dieting/weight loss, health, addiction, quitting smoking, temptation, procrastination, mindfulness, stress, sleep, cravings, exercise, self-control, self-compassion, guilt, and shame. For more from Kelly McGonigal, visit http://kellymcgonigal.com/. This event took place on January 26, 2012 at Google headquarters in Mountain View, CA.

One of the world’s most esteemed psychologists, Roy F Baumeister visits the RSA to explain why willpower and self-control is one of the most important aspects of individual and societal wellbeing.

Podcasts to feed your Love

Meditation for Love

Read more on meditation and Self-Control:

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