The Noel Strengths Academy defines it this way:
• Not braggadocios
• Lets one’s accomplishments speak for themselves
• Refuses to “one-up” others in relationship
• Does not regard oneself as more special than one is
• Avoids flaunting or seeking to be the center of attention
- Underuse: Emotional Isolation
- Overuse: Emotional Promiscuity
Key Research:
- Rank order of Modesty in populations from:
- US : 23
- European: 23
- Asia: 23
- Latin America: 24
- Sub-Saharan Africa: 23
- Middle east: 23
Tayyab Rashid and Afroze Anjum offer 340 Ways to Use VIA Character Strengths including these four for Modesty:
- Resist showing off accomplishments for a week and notice the changes in your interpersonal relationships. Do people act surprised that you waited to reveal your news?
- Notice if you speak more than others in a group situation. Concentrate on listening to the words of others rather than simply waiting for your turn to speak.
- Compliment sincerely if you find someone is authentic and better than you in some ways. Accept compliments from others humbly.
- Ask a trusted friend for honest feedback about your weaknesses. Think about their words at length before replying.
- So Good They Can’t Ignore You: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love by Cal Newport
Learn more about Modesty/Humility
How do we find fulfillment in a world that’s constantly changing? Raymond Tang struggled with this question until he came across the ancient Chinese philosophy of the Tao Te Ching. In it, he found a passage comparing goodness to water, an idea he’s now applying to his everyday life. In this charming talk, he shares three lessons he’s learned so far from the “philosophy of water.” “What would water do?” Tang asks. “This simple and powerful question … has changed my life for the better.”
Alain de Botton examines our ideas of success and failure — and questions the assumptions underlying these two judgments. Is success always earned? Is failure? He makes an eloquent, witty case to move beyond snobbery to find true pleasure in our work.
Podcasts to feed your Modesty/Humility
Meditation for Modesty/Humility
- Bringing Kindness to Yourself @ Insight Timer
- Kindness to Self Using the Breath @ Insight Timer
- Loving Kindness with Meg Levie @ SIYLI
- Loving-Kindness Meditation @ Greater Good
- Loving Kindness for Beginners: Audio
- Forgiveness of Others: Audio
- Forgiveness of Ourselves: Audio
- A Loving-Kindness Meditation to Boost Compassion @ Mindful
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Inner Guide Meditation
An inner guide meditation taps into the part of yourself that knows what is best for you. We often worry about making the “right” life decisions or wonder how to overcome obstacles. However, worry and stress often block our creativity and insight. This guided visualization will allow you to ask your inner guide questions in a relaxed format to obtain insight and answers.
Read more on meditation and modesty:
- Does Mindfulness Meditation Really Make You Kinder?
- Why Loving-Kindness Takes Time: includes a 45 minute guided meditation by Sharon Salzberg
- 18 Science-Based Reasons to Try Loving-Kindness Meditation Today!